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zootedboy:

*black couple living in a haunted house*

wife: the house haunted

husband: we out this bitch

*everybody lives*

(via yung-mango)

phuckindope:

life goal: go shopping and never look at the price tag.

(Source: numovu, via takeme-towonderlandd)

twerkforcats:

i always had my head wrapped around the idea of getting into a wonderful university and getting a good job and getting married and having a family and being able to support them but for some reason now all i want to do is travel and eat new foods and meet new people and get a tan and buy a one way ticket and not come home

(via kempt0n)

if lucifer needs someones consent to enter their body then so do you

(Source: apollogizing, via manda)

REALEST zodiac sign stuff

Aries:self-centred competitive cunts but still sweet
Taurus:nice as heck but dont show much emotions and eat a way too much
Gemini:smooth lunatic manipulative assholes but geniuses
Cancer:dependant, emotionally unstable lullabies and probably the nicest persons you know
Leo:most generous and selfish at the same time attention whores
Virgo:steady fuckers that probably have an OCD
Libra:double-faced childish bitches but they know how to look good tho
Scorpio:paranoid psychos that think about dry humping all day long
Sagittarius:funny but rude, one night stands big winner
Capricorn:cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills
Aquarius:weird hipsters that always try to sound deep and different but VERY open-minded
Pisces:sensible compulsive liars, daydreamers and super gentle but hypocrites

amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

(via lovemetoinfinity)

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